Letter to Editor

So very few newspaper articles evoke my emotion. However, on the 4th of July there was an article in the Columbus Dispatch in the Metro section about a lady sitting next to 2 soldiers on a plane who were going on their 2 week break and wanting to treat them to a pampering break. The soldiers told this travler that they missed the basic things like their own bathroom, shower, bed, etc. The article included a website where people could donate items, meals, services, ets for the soldiers leave.

While, I think this jesture is very kind, it evoked a very selfish feeling inside.... This selfish feeling I will share, becasue I am human and still angry. Here it goes..........

WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILY MEMBERS AT HOME LEFT TO WORK JUST AS HARD AND NEVER RECOGONIZED AS HERO'S OR RECEIVE SHINY METALS????

So this is what is so funny.... I spent Sophia's nap time on Saturday outlining my letter to the editor Ann & Sunday's Sophia's nap finishing it. Ha Ha! I can't believe, I wasted such precious time writing this letter. But it is sent and the damage is done. Here is my letter.

Hi Ann,

My name is Tiffanie Grove, and this is the first time that I have ever sent a letter in regards to an article. Last week, your article was on my door step which marked one of the many holidays apart from my husband and 1/2 way mark of his 2nd Military deployment with the National Guard.... It was a tough day, the weather was rainy, the sky was gloomy and our daughter was especially cranky. I had failed to make any kid friendly plans and I found this to probably be one of my loneliest and hardest days.

So.... I read your article and the desire to send a letter was almost immediate. However, I decided that I would wait a week and see if the feeling was still there. Then my neighbor brought me a copy of the article wanting to know if I read it....

I took this as a sign to drop you a note. I understand the story teller Melissa North's emotion of wanting to pamper the soldiers. Yes, they are making a huge sacrifice, their comforts are not available like to us at home. They do deserve a lovely, relaxing and stress free break.

However, there are other hero's and these are the military families and spouses at home. Their sacrifices are often not recognized or rewarded as Heroic. We are left working just as hard, pulling long work shifts, then pulling ALL the family shifts. We are mowing our lawns, making home repairs, taking every late night baby crying shift, dealing with difficult teenagers, paying the bills, getting food on the table, etc... We are exhausted as well, we also would like the opportunity to sleep in, shower more than 2 minutes, eat a meal in more than 2 seconds, go out to a restaurant, take a nap, watch a movies, go out alone, etc.

So I would like to make some suggestions as to how people who say they want to help, can help. There are so many different ways to help instead of sending a letter to the soldier or baking cookies. I can reassure you that if a Soldiers family is watched over, this is worth all the letters in the world or beef jerkey. Last night, I brainstormed with some soldiers wives as we swapped stories of help/no help and ideas. Here are our ideas.

-Don't just say to the family member, if you need some help give me a call and we will help. The correct approach is..... Hey, I would like to come over this weekend and mow your lawn or watch your children or make some repairs. Many of the family members don't mind asking for help, but it gets old and it's very difficult because we can't reciprocate at this time.

-Make the family at home a meal. Maybe organize a weekly/monthly meal with your neighbors.

-Let's say you have similar age child and maybe they are in the same activities... Offer to pick up/drop off the children. Or simply help the parent with getting the equipment out of the car (i.e. stroller, cooler, lawn> chair).

-Maybe their is a family member that has more than one child and they are struggling to get order, simply help round up the children, or get them settled at the table or church pew.

-If you offer to have the family over for dinner, make sure the parent gets to eat. So often they are getting their children settled, meeting the need of their children and then they don't get the opportunity to eat. Offer to hold the children or entertain while they eat in 2 seconds flat.

-Many times we are approached by local groups that say they want to do something for the soldiers. A different idea would be, offer to serve a meal to the family members and provide a childcare for the event. This would give the opportunity for the family members to have fellowship, talk and share what they are feeling. It is so very difficult to have fellowship when our children are running around.

So here are a few ideas. As it was reported in late 2007, their were approximately 2,000 Ohio/Michigan Soldiers deployed the 1st of January, 2008. This is the largest deployment since WWII. There are a lot of families in need of some extra help. Please know, your kindness will be payed forward!

Thanks Ann for hearing my story and suggestions. I don't claim to be a grammar guru, so please kindly overlook any mistakes. I would like to remain anonymous if any of the above is printed.

Sincerely,
Tiffanie Grove