I would like to touch on a few things, that hopefully will make you laugh and give you a better insight as to what it's like when a family member leaves on deployment. This is Jerry's and my second year apart, so I actually recognize and remember a lot of the feelings and actions that I am repeating.
One of the most difficult things for me, is asking for help. I loath to ask for help! I especially dislike asking for help because I can't return the favor this year. So, I am asking my friends, family and neighbors to understand when I am wishy washy on my requests for help, it's because this is new for me. I am not good at it.
You probably would of laughed if you heard my telephone conversation and request to my dear neighbor Rosie to watch Sophia. The request probably had a lot of... If you could....Maybe....Sometime around 6:30pm......Don't want to inconvenience you.... Thankfully, Rosie listened to me, understood my request and made it simple. If anyone has insight on how to ask for help in a complete, concise manner I would appreciate your guidance. I am so blessed to have such loving people who want to help in my life. I hope you know I will pay it forward. Thank you Rosie for caring for Sophia last night.
The other private thought I would like to share is the grieving cycle that comes along with the family member leaving. For some reason, I bounce back and forth from acceptance to madness. This week, I am mad. Can I tell you what I am mad about, and hopefully this makes you laugh...
Jerry was to write a thank you note to two people who donated a Christmas Tree adorned with goodies for the troops. Of course the holiday has come and gone, Jerry left to Texas and this task was not completed. Once in Texas, I told him that I would remind him just one last time to write the note and I was going to dump the memory and it would be on his conscious. It was Monday AM, and I needed something to be pissed about and I pulled this stupid task back from the delete file in my brain and wrote Jerry an e-mail. I had to re-write the e-mail multiple times because I wanted to stay married. I EVEN looked up a word in the Thesaurus to get the right tone. Just in case you wanted to know, the word was "unmindful". I placed it so perfectly into the e-mail. Your probably wondering if the thank you notes are out..... Last night, on the phone Jerry reassured me they went out on Monday.
During my current emotion which is acceptance, I think this entry is hilarious. I don't mean to be dramatic when I talk about the grieving cycle, but this is the only thing I can compare all these emotions too. I really hope this e-mail is read in the context of being funny and light. Really, should I have spent my morning harping on a stupid thank you note???? Can't help it.
