Dear Friends and Family,
I have just two things to report & say.....
1. So, I wrote an interesting blog entry and letter to the editor. I hope you know that the entry was not a cry for help or complaint about the support I have received.
I wish I would of articulated more on was........ My talk with the military wives was a compiled list of all the kindness we received and a few hints on how we could use some additional help. The feelings/thoughts in the entry were not just mine. We all talked and praised our neighbors, church members, family and friends for their support. Every one of us had a story to tell about someones kindness. Please understand that we do appreciate your support to our soldiers and keep sending the cookies & notes to them.
So, I am hoping that I did not hurt any one's feelings. Sophia and I have been supported and loved by so many. I have ran out of thank you notes due to everyones kindness.
2. I feel it is necessary to touch on the health of Jerry's dad. Last week Harold was taken to Athens Hospital. He received wonderful care, and made the decision to be transferred to Lancaster hospital where he could be close to his cancer doctor. His cancer has spread and at this time Harold made the decision with his family and doctor to return home where he will receive care by his loved ones. This Saturday his daughter Janalee will be coming into town to spend the week with the family. Jerry is still planning his break for late August.
I am hoping my next entry can be on a more positive note.......
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Letter to Editor
So very few newspaper articles evoke my emotion. However, on the 4th of July there was an article in the Columbus Dispatch in the Metro section about a lady sitting next to 2 soldiers on a plane who were going on their 2 week break and wanting to treat them to a pampering break. The soldiers told this travler that they missed the basic things like their own bathroom, shower, bed, etc. The article included a website where people could donate items, meals, services, ets for the soldiers leave.
While, I think this jesture is very kind, it evoked a very selfish feeling inside.... This selfish feeling I will share, becasue I am human and still angry. Here it goes..........
WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILY MEMBERS AT HOME LEFT TO WORK JUST AS HARD AND NEVER RECOGONIZED AS HERO'S OR RECEIVE SHINY METALS????
So this is what is so funny.... I spent Sophia's nap time on Saturday outlining my letter to the editor Ann & Sunday's Sophia's nap finishing it. Ha Ha! I can't believe, I wasted such precious time writing this letter. But it is sent and the damage is done. Here is my letter.
Hi Ann,
My name is Tiffanie Grove, and this is the first time that I have ever sent a letter in regards to an article. Last week, your article was on my door step which marked one of the many holidays apart from my husband and 1/2 way mark of his 2nd Military deployment with the National Guard.... It was a tough day, the weather was rainy, the sky was gloomy and our daughter was especially cranky. I had failed to make any kid friendly plans and I found this to probably be one of my loneliest and hardest days.
So.... I read your article and the desire to send a letter was almost immediate. However, I decided that I would wait a week and see if the feeling was still there. Then my neighbor brought me a copy of the article wanting to know if I read it....
I took this as a sign to drop you a note. I understand the story teller Melissa North's emotion of wanting to pamper the soldiers. Yes, they are making a huge sacrifice, their comforts are not available like to us at home. They do deserve a lovely, relaxing and stress free break.
However, there are other hero's and these are the military families and spouses at home. Their sacrifices are often not recognized or rewarded as Heroic. We are left working just as hard, pulling long work shifts, then pulling ALL the family shifts. We are mowing our lawns, making home repairs, taking every late night baby crying shift, dealing with difficult teenagers, paying the bills, getting food on the table, etc... We are exhausted as well, we also would like the opportunity to sleep in, shower more than 2 minutes, eat a meal in more than 2 seconds, go out to a restaurant, take a nap, watch a movies, go out alone, etc.
So I would like to make some suggestions as to how people who say they want to help, can help. There are so many different ways to help instead of sending a letter to the soldier or baking cookies. I can reassure you that if a Soldiers family is watched over, this is worth all the letters in the world or beef jerkey. Last night, I brainstormed with some soldiers wives as we swapped stories of help/no help and ideas. Here are our ideas.
-Don't just say to the family member, if you need some help give me a call and we will help. The correct approach is..... Hey, I would like to come over this weekend and mow your lawn or watch your children or make some repairs. Many of the family members don't mind asking for help, but it gets old and it's very difficult because we can't reciprocate at this time.
-Make the family at home a meal. Maybe organize a weekly/monthly meal with your neighbors.
-Let's say you have similar age child and maybe they are in the same activities... Offer to pick up/drop off the children. Or simply help the parent with getting the equipment out of the car (i.e. stroller, cooler, lawn> chair).
-Maybe their is a family member that has more than one child and they are struggling to get order, simply help round up the children, or get them settled at the table or church pew.
-If you offer to have the family over for dinner, make sure the parent gets to eat. So often they are getting their children settled, meeting the need of their children and then they don't get the opportunity to eat. Offer to hold the children or entertain while they eat in 2 seconds flat.
-Many times we are approached by local groups that say they want to do something for the soldiers. A different idea would be, offer to serve a meal to the family members and provide a childcare for the event. This would give the opportunity for the family members to have fellowship, talk and share what they are feeling. It is so very difficult to have fellowship when our children are running around.
So here are a few ideas. As it was reported in late 2007, their were approximately 2,000 Ohio/Michigan Soldiers deployed the 1st of January, 2008. This is the largest deployment since WWII. There are a lot of families in need of some extra help. Please know, your kindness will be payed forward!
Thanks Ann for hearing my story and suggestions. I don't claim to be a grammar guru, so please kindly overlook any mistakes. I would like to remain anonymous if any of the above is printed.
Sincerely,
Tiffanie Grove
While, I think this jesture is very kind, it evoked a very selfish feeling inside.... This selfish feeling I will share, becasue I am human and still angry. Here it goes..........
WHAT ABOUT THE FAMILY MEMBERS AT HOME LEFT TO WORK JUST AS HARD AND NEVER RECOGONIZED AS HERO'S OR RECEIVE SHINY METALS????
So this is what is so funny.... I spent Sophia's nap time on Saturday outlining my letter to the editor Ann & Sunday's Sophia's nap finishing it. Ha Ha! I can't believe, I wasted such precious time writing this letter. But it is sent and the damage is done. Here is my letter.
Hi Ann,
My name is Tiffanie Grove, and this is the first time that I have ever sent a letter in regards to an article. Last week, your article was on my door step which marked one of the many holidays apart from my husband and 1/2 way mark of his 2nd Military deployment with the National Guard.... It was a tough day, the weather was rainy, the sky was gloomy and our daughter was especially cranky. I had failed to make any kid friendly plans and I found this to probably be one of my loneliest and hardest days.
So.... I read your article and the desire to send a letter was almost immediate. However, I decided that I would wait a week and see if the feeling was still there. Then my neighbor brought me a copy of the article wanting to know if I read it....
I took this as a sign to drop you a note. I understand the story teller Melissa North's emotion of wanting to pamper the soldiers. Yes, they are making a huge sacrifice, their comforts are not available like to us at home. They do deserve a lovely, relaxing and stress free break.
However, there are other hero's and these are the military families and spouses at home. Their sacrifices are often not recognized or rewarded as Heroic. We are left working just as hard, pulling long work shifts, then pulling ALL the family shifts. We are mowing our lawns, making home repairs, taking every late night baby crying shift, dealing with difficult teenagers, paying the bills, getting food on the table, etc... We are exhausted as well, we also would like the opportunity to sleep in, shower more than 2 minutes, eat a meal in more than 2 seconds, go out to a restaurant, take a nap, watch a movies, go out alone, etc.
So I would like to make some suggestions as to how people who say they want to help, can help. There are so many different ways to help instead of sending a letter to the soldier or baking cookies. I can reassure you that if a Soldiers family is watched over, this is worth all the letters in the world or beef jerkey. Last night, I brainstormed with some soldiers wives as we swapped stories of help/no help and ideas. Here are our ideas.
-Don't just say to the family member, if you need some help give me a call and we will help. The correct approach is..... Hey, I would like to come over this weekend and mow your lawn or watch your children or make some repairs. Many of the family members don't mind asking for help, but it gets old and it's very difficult because we can't reciprocate at this time.
-Make the family at home a meal. Maybe organize a weekly/monthly meal with your neighbors.
-Let's say you have similar age child and maybe they are in the same activities... Offer to pick up/drop off the children. Or simply help the parent with getting the equipment out of the car (i.e. stroller, cooler, lawn> chair).
-Maybe their is a family member that has more than one child and they are struggling to get order, simply help round up the children, or get them settled at the table or church pew.
-If you offer to have the family over for dinner, make sure the parent gets to eat. So often they are getting their children settled, meeting the need of their children and then they don't get the opportunity to eat. Offer to hold the children or entertain while they eat in 2 seconds flat.
-Many times we are approached by local groups that say they want to do something for the soldiers. A different idea would be, offer to serve a meal to the family members and provide a childcare for the event. This would give the opportunity for the family members to have fellowship, talk and share what they are feeling. It is so very difficult to have fellowship when our children are running around.
So here are a few ideas. As it was reported in late 2007, their were approximately 2,000 Ohio/Michigan Soldiers deployed the 1st of January, 2008. This is the largest deployment since WWII. There are a lot of families in need of some extra help. Please know, your kindness will be payed forward!
Thanks Ann for hearing my story and suggestions. I don't claim to be a grammar guru, so please kindly overlook any mistakes. I would like to remain anonymous if any of the above is printed.
Sincerely,
Tiffanie Grove
Monday, June 30, 2008
Updates
A couple updates......
-Jerry's father was released from the hospital on Thursday of last week. His sodium level was up and he was sent home quicker than you can say medicare. He continues to never complain to a soul. We all know that he has such wonderful care & support by his children, brothers, sisters & friends. There always is a family member or friend near by to share a conversation with Harold. His wife Janet and daughter Jennifer take such good care of him, he is unconditionally loved by so many.
Now Sophia never forgets her grandpa. Even though she does not see him a lot, she never misses a beat with him, just curls up in his lap and loves him. You can see from the photos below, they are good buddies. This weekend, Jerry's cousins Rick, Laura & Gayle had a surprise B-Day/Welcome Home Party for their brother Bill. They were so kind to invite Sophia and I.
Harold's brother Mike picked him up from Athens and brought him to the party.
Bill is moving into his father's home. Bill, Rick, Laura & Gayle lost their father just 1 year old to a courageous battle with cancer. I think Dick Mourne spirit was there and probably enjoyed the fellowship and laughs. Even though, I did not know Dick very well.... there was a lot of talk about him and the fun always surrounded by him. He is loved dearly by so many.
Sophia & Grandpa Mourn.
Bill Mourn drinking from his beer goggles.
Sophia with 2nd Cousins.
I don't know what this face is, but she loved being on grandpa's lap.
Sophia with Great Uncle Mike & Great Aunt Bernadine
Sophia with Great Aunt Bernadine
-Jerry's father was released from the hospital on Thursday of last week. His sodium level was up and he was sent home quicker than you can say medicare. He continues to never complain to a soul. We all know that he has such wonderful care & support by his children, brothers, sisters & friends. There always is a family member or friend near by to share a conversation with Harold. His wife Janet and daughter Jennifer take such good care of him, he is unconditionally loved by so many.
Now Sophia never forgets her grandpa. Even though she does not see him a lot, she never misses a beat with him, just curls up in his lap and loves him. You can see from the photos below, they are good buddies. This weekend, Jerry's cousins Rick, Laura & Gayle had a surprise B-Day/Welcome Home Party for their brother Bill. They were so kind to invite Sophia and I.
Harold's brother Mike picked him up from Athens and brought him to the party.
Bill is moving into his father's home. Bill, Rick, Laura & Gayle lost their father just 1 year old to a courageous battle with cancer. I think Dick Mourne spirit was there and probably enjoyed the fellowship and laughs. Even though, I did not know Dick very well.... there was a lot of talk about him and the fun always surrounded by him. He is loved dearly by so many.
Sophia & Grandpa Mourn.
Bill Mourn drinking from his beer goggles.
Sophia with 2nd Cousins.
I don't know what this face is, but she loved being on grandpa's lap.
Sophia with Great Uncle Mike & Great Aunt Bernadine
Sophia with Great Aunt Bernadine-My next update is about my parents/family in Iowa. So many have asked if my parents were in harms way with all the tornadoes, floods, severe weather. Thankfully, they live in an area that has not been hit too hard. They do have friends in Parkersburg, Iowa who's home and business was destroyed with the Memorial Weekend tornadoes and have friends fighting the floods in Cedar Rapids. My mom mentioned there was a 10 minute storm with high winds that brought down some tree limbs in their yard and sadly killed 2 people when a tree fell on the front of a car. My mom summed it up yesterday when she said..... We are done with this crazy weather.
So a lot is going on in everyone's life..... I will keep you posted as I know more.
So, I am sure you are wondering if that little chunk Sophia walking yet.... The answer is No. She is standing in place, walking around furniture, up the walls, around the chair, but not from point A to point B. Everyone keeps telling me that once she starts walking my life will be all over. I find that very hard to believe because I think my life ended almost 13 months ago.
Somebody please answer me...... Why do couples have more than one child????? Who ever answers back with the best response will earn something very special from me......
My mom already told me, it's because people have sex, but I don't like that answer....
Ha Ha!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Blog Blog Blog Blog
Wow, keeping up the interest, creativity and desire to write in the blog is very hard! When I first started the blog, I thought it was fun and I could not wait to jot my feelings down. Now... It seems to be the last thing on my mind. Not to mention that I am still working out the anger faze...
I think I have taken a turn for the better. So let me tell you where this started.... I had a lovely PEO sister call me early in the AM and said Tiffanie I would like to have dinner with you and Sophia. Let's not make it complicated, lets have dinner together in a way that is convenient to you. So this lovely sister came to my house that evening and we shared dinner and memories together. This sister is a very strong woman and who has traveled the world extensively and also married to a man who was in the air force. I always love to hear her stories. Then she invited Sophia and I to spend Father's day with her family. Sophia and I biked up to their home in Worthington and spent the afternoon with her children and future daughters "in-laws". I am thankful for their support.
As I mentioned, I am feeling better. We have almost completed 1/2 of our time apart. July 2nd will be the 1/2 way point. And no, it has not gone fast. Your life may have flew by, but not for us. I miss my best friend, and I especially miss the extra pair of hands to help with Sophia and the home.
So enough about that... As you know my great neighbor and friend Tricia Arthur has been watching Sophia and her son Jackson since January. I feel like a MILLION BUCKS when I drop of Sophia at her home. I knew that Sophia would be loved like her own during their time together. However, good things must come to an end. Tricia, her hubby Scott, and Jackson are moving to Minnesota for Scott to pursue a position with the Mayo Clinic. I have truly enjoyed getting to know them and being their friend. Tonight, Scott had a surprise B-Day party for Tricia where he made a lovely speech about his bride. He captured it perfectly..... So I am going to quote him....."Everyone who comes into Tricia's life falls in love with her passion, sincerity, goodness and walks away wanting to be like her, so they try, share and pass it on". I will miss the Arthur family and she does make me want to pass on her goodness.....
I would like to give just a quick update on Jerry's Dad. Currently he is in ICU at the hospital in Athens. They are struggling to keep his Sodium levels up. Jerry's sister Jennifer had been a wonderful caregiver for the family. She has a strong medical background and does a wonderful job of communicating to the family the doctors words. We are very thankful for all that she does. I will let you know more as I learn more.
Jerry is doing good. He is just like his dad where he NEVER complains. He compares his conditions to standing next to the air conditioner unit on a 100 degree day. (Hot air being blown on you) They are having quite a sand storm which he understands could last up to 30 days. He is traveling a lot to the airport, which I think really helps break up the monotony. I have asked him to write an entry and let's see if he can get a moment to do it. We are going to have some time together in Sept.
Good Night.
I think I have taken a turn for the better. So let me tell you where this started.... I had a lovely PEO sister call me early in the AM and said Tiffanie I would like to have dinner with you and Sophia. Let's not make it complicated, lets have dinner together in a way that is convenient to you. So this lovely sister came to my house that evening and we shared dinner and memories together. This sister is a very strong woman and who has traveled the world extensively and also married to a man who was in the air force. I always love to hear her stories. Then she invited Sophia and I to spend Father's day with her family. Sophia and I biked up to their home in Worthington and spent the afternoon with her children and future daughters "in-laws". I am thankful for their support.
As I mentioned, I am feeling better. We have almost completed 1/2 of our time apart. July 2nd will be the 1/2 way point. And no, it has not gone fast. Your life may have flew by, but not for us. I miss my best friend, and I especially miss the extra pair of hands to help with Sophia and the home.
So enough about that... As you know my great neighbor and friend Tricia Arthur has been watching Sophia and her son Jackson since January. I feel like a MILLION BUCKS when I drop of Sophia at her home. I knew that Sophia would be loved like her own during their time together. However, good things must come to an end. Tricia, her hubby Scott, and Jackson are moving to Minnesota for Scott to pursue a position with the Mayo Clinic. I have truly enjoyed getting to know them and being their friend. Tonight, Scott had a surprise B-Day party for Tricia where he made a lovely speech about his bride. He captured it perfectly..... So I am going to quote him....."Everyone who comes into Tricia's life falls in love with her passion, sincerity, goodness and walks away wanting to be like her, so they try, share and pass it on". I will miss the Arthur family and she does make me want to pass on her goodness.....
I would like to give just a quick update on Jerry's Dad. Currently he is in ICU at the hospital in Athens. They are struggling to keep his Sodium levels up. Jerry's sister Jennifer had been a wonderful caregiver for the family. She has a strong medical background and does a wonderful job of communicating to the family the doctors words. We are very thankful for all that she does. I will let you know more as I learn more.
Jerry is doing good. He is just like his dad where he NEVER complains. He compares his conditions to standing next to the air conditioner unit on a 100 degree day. (Hot air being blown on you) They are having quite a sand storm which he understands could last up to 30 days. He is traveling a lot to the airport, which I think really helps break up the monotony. I have asked him to write an entry and let's see if he can get a moment to do it. We are going to have some time together in Sept.
Good Night.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Sophia is 1 Year Old
I can't believe it, but our daughter Sophia is 1 year old. This morning, she slept in until 9:30am, so if you ask me, she started the day out right. Grandma & Grandpa Grove came in for the weekend to help us out and celebrate the day with Sophia. She is going swimming with her Nanny today.
I know that I always talk about my neighbors and how great they are, but this Friday evening, they out did themselves and created a very special weekend for us. Gina & John hosted a surprise 1 year B-Day party for Sophia. The party was attended by the Rod, Rosie, John, Laura, Maria, Pete, Carene, Abbi, Gracie, John & Gina. Sophia was adorned with wonderful gifts and a tasty birthday cake. It was a great night. Thank you Olentangy neighbors for a great 1st Birthday.
Laura & Maria Bova, Sis and I
Who does she look like?
I don't know what this face is?
Carene, Abbi, Sis and I getting ready to blow out the candle.
Can you see Jerry? He is thin. He organized a Mobilization Run in Country. It was in coordination with the Armed Force Honor Run Memorial Day benefiting the "Greater Powell Veteran's Memorial. Check out the entry about Jerry's efforts and organization of the race.Sunday, May 18, 2008
Damage Control
So, I have been thinking about my Saturday late night entry all day. Wondering.... Should I erase it, did anyone see it, what are people going to think, did Jerry read it? So, I decided today that I would share with Jerry that I was mad at him. His response was.... What did I do now?
As, I did a poor attempt of trying to tell Jerry why I was mad, I realized that I could not give one concrete, legit reason. What it boils down to is I am pissed about our situation.
So unfortunately, Jerry is the only tangible person related to my source of anger, thus this means I will be mad at him. Who else can I be mad at? As if being pissed at President Bush would do me a world of good.
It's late Sunday evening and I feel that my day was a waste. I spent a lot of the day crying, stressed about work on Monday, and not enjoying the day with Sophia. Thankfully a friend Tricia Zelenack had previously invited us to meet their new family addition Morgan. Sophia and I spent about an hour visiting with the family and catching up. I almost cancelled due to my attitude. It was probably just what we needed.
So, now that I found the source of my anger, does it mean that this part of the grieving process will be coming to a close???? I need to move on.
My next goal is to work on my exit strategy from the Fashion Industry. I have a personal goal of August to complete/make this decision. As everyone keeps telling me, I need to have a plan. I will work on the details and hopefully put my plan in action once Jerry gets home. Is it returning to Stenography school full time to finish my court reporting degree, or is it something completely different. I will be focusing my energy, praying for guidance, and probably bugging friends and family for their input as to what they see me doing.
As, I did a poor attempt of trying to tell Jerry why I was mad, I realized that I could not give one concrete, legit reason. What it boils down to is I am pissed about our situation.
So unfortunately, Jerry is the only tangible person related to my source of anger, thus this means I will be mad at him. Who else can I be mad at? As if being pissed at President Bush would do me a world of good.
It's late Sunday evening and I feel that my day was a waste. I spent a lot of the day crying, stressed about work on Monday, and not enjoying the day with Sophia. Thankfully a friend Tricia Zelenack had previously invited us to meet their new family addition Morgan. Sophia and I spent about an hour visiting with the family and catching up. I almost cancelled due to my attitude. It was probably just what we needed.
So, now that I found the source of my anger, does it mean that this part of the grieving process will be coming to a close???? I need to move on.
My next goal is to work on my exit strategy from the Fashion Industry. I have a personal goal of August to complete/make this decision. As everyone keeps telling me, I need to have a plan. I will work on the details and hopefully put my plan in action once Jerry gets home. Is it returning to Stenography school full time to finish my court reporting degree, or is it something completely different. I will be focusing my energy, praying for guidance, and probably bugging friends and family for their input as to what they see me doing.
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